NIL AON GHAEILGE AGAM! AN BHFUIL BEARLA AGAT?

In the name of cultural understanding (and the ability to subtly communicate with the Man in the presence of company - "I am bored to tears, lets please leave. Now!"), I have decided to... *drum roll*... try and pick up a wee bit o' Gaelic. Of course, that sounds a lot easier than it is because: I cannot for the life of me find an Irish Gaelic book - all of them are Scottish Gaelic - so I attempting to teach it to myself with free software from a website called Before You Know Ithttp://www.byki.com/Default.html, which is not a bad site, because, while basic, if you press a little button, a nice-sounding lady pronounces the word for you, which is absolutely vital... because The language is not phonetic!! (neither is the word phonetic but that is besides the point). Try this on for size: Pronounce An bhfuil - a word you to ask a question, like Is... ?. Before you get your toungue in a knot, it has neither the sound of a b, h or an f in it. It's pronounced An Will. ???? It might explain why the only things I can commit to memory, apart from a couple of basic phrases, are bear (bear) and bo (cow). Oh, and fion (wine, pronounced fi-on) and aran (bread, pronouced a-rawn). Which might explain the title of this post. Nil aon ghaeilge agam. An bhfuil bearla agat? - I do not speak Irish. Do you speak English? But no, I cannot pronounce it, and I'm not even going to try without the help of some fion. Art